I am Dachshund

I am a Dachshund.

I’m half wolverine, half barb wire and all attitude.

I am either your best friend or your worst enemy, depending on YOUR attitude.

I can fight the wildest raccoon or play with the gentlest child.

I can hunt all day in snow storms, pouring rain or blistering heat and then ask you to throw the ball when we get done.

I will argue with you at every turn. After all, I know what I’m doing and the best way to get it done.

I am easy to feed. I will eat your steak or the dead, rotten rabbit I found in the field.

You will never be without a navigator in the truck.

I will protect you from burglars, raccoons, badgers and that strange pesky shadow in the corner of the house.

I will hog the bed and the couch.

I will steal your sandwich, your chair, your boot, and your heart.

You will never have to go to the bathroom alone ever again.

I will lick your face right after I eat the head off the rabbit I just killed in the yard.

I will sleep next to you when you are sick and heal you with my love.

I am DACHSHUND.

Respect me.

Love me.

But NEVER underestimate me.